Wednesday, July 30, 2014

The Accidental Tourist

Hello all

Yes, yes. I know the title of this post is also the name of  a movie starring...I want to say William, no John Hurt and Barbara Hershey I think. And technically when I'm in Ottawa (which is the place from where the facts of this post will be drawn from), I'm not a tourist. I've lived there. We go there often. We stay with family (lucky them!). But that's the title you're getting so enjoy or mope. Makes no never mind to - NO, wait. It is William Hurt.

There's no doubt about it folks, I am accident prone. My body moves about space in such a way that sometimes I think parts of it are magnetically drawn, in a mysterious and disturbing way, to solid objects. I'm not alone in this so please don't think I think that I'm special. It's just that sometimes, it really gets on my nerves.

While in Ottawa, I injured myself three times and we were only there for a week. Once in the bathroom, once in the kitchen, and once in the living room. Let me tell you the tale and for the added ingredient of fun, I've included photos.

Once upon a time there was a bathroom that I have been in about a thousand times.

I was doing my normal bedtime routine (brushing, thinking about flossing) and upon finishing my teeth regime, I turned to use the toilette before retiring to bed because that's what I do. As I turned to my right, I connected head to wall with this.

I have been near this bit of wall the same amount of times I've been in this bathroom. I have leaned on it when my back was sore, leaned against it when I was sick, been near it enough that I am perfectly aware of it's existence in the bathroom. It's a part of the good and bad of my bathroom experience and I thought we had an understanding that pain from it was not on the table. Clearly it felt differently because that night  it decided to get nasty and leap in my way. While half asleep and already feeling moo, I did this...

See where I'm pointing? I slammed my forehead onto the edge of this wall. Let me tell you, it smarted rightly and I don't mind letting it be known that I said some very choice words out loud for the wall to hear. Take that wall!

The next day, while rummaging for lettuce (the only way to look for lettuce) in the fridge, I hit my head again.

Right below the instructions for how to cook Sean's aunt's delicious apple pie to golden perfection, just left of where my poor head had had a date with the edge of the wall, I rammed my forehead mountain goat like into the freezer door. I reeled back and almost cried and not because it hurt, which is did, but because I was highly ticked off that once again, my lack of spacial relations and body magnetism worked together to bring me pain.

For the next few days, I did ok. I managed to walk through the world without hitting everything as I strolled  near it. However, the second to last night we were there, I had an unfortunate encounter with this bit of evil.

Oh yes, my friends. You now what's coming. I had a run in with a rocking chair. Below are pictures of Sean performing a dramatic reenactment of my encounter with said rocking chair.

Now while these pictures are colourful, blurry, and entertaining, they are false. This is what I would call "an exaggerated and controversial retelling" of the incident. The truth of the matter is that as I sat down I somehow manged to get my right foot under the right rung, foot thingy and rocked forward on it as I placed myself fully onto the seat. Boy, bloody HOWDY did it hurt. I tried, I really tried to keep the swearing in, but there was no way to stop the words from bursting forth. I wouldn't say I cursed a blue streak because it was only one phrase, but it was given a lot of loud air. I would post a picture to prove I have a bruise, but I couldn't get a picture that really showcased it. I'm VERY pale and at best picture reveals my unflattering, pasty glow.

The next day, as well as bruise, (seriously, I do have one. Trust me) I almost had an aversion to shoes which made my day challenging as I needed to wear shoes on purpose in order to drive to the liquor store so that I could purchase a most delicious bottle of, not found in my local liquor store, Honey Badger Red Wine. It's the ultimate yum in a bottle.

And there ends my week of injuries. I have managed to not hurt myself too much upon my return home. However, it is only a matter of time before my body feels the pull of sharp, hard things and I - you know, I'm going to stop there. This blog post is taking a turn I hadn't intended.

Here's to being clumsy.

Here's to being creative.


Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Random Passage Tuesday: OH! It's Canada Day!

Hello All!

It's been a while since I've done post so let's get on with it!

Danny said "This is the time during the show when I strip." and he took his -

Wait, wait, wait. Hold the post. It's Tuesday and so I should be posting a random diary passage, but it's also Canada Day, so instead I'm going to do "Specific Passage Tuesday" and share with you a passage from July, 1/1987: The day my family and I left Victoria, BC to begin our 4 year stint in Ottawa, ON.

I warn you, that this diary entry, the first entry in this diary (just to lend another layer of learning), may be considered "Too Much Information", but in my first Random Passage Tuesday post I promised to transcribe what was on the page verbatim so verbatim is what you're going to get.


Check out the inside cover. Did I have low self esteem or was  I really obsessed with lighters?

Canada Day, July, 1/1987

Today Dear Diary we left the island headed on a long sweaty hot trip to Ottawa wear my new home is now located*. We travelled for about 5 hours. I am now in Salmon Arm and staying at the Best Western. WE we left the island I didn't want to cry or be really happy. I guess I didn't really know how I felt but after I went swimming at the motel I suddenly  start to cry and realized tht I was very sad & that I really wanted to be back in Victoria where I had lived for 14y. 4m. & 15 days. Also today I guess you could say that I became a mature young lady. I got my period after we had dinner. It's not a very heavy flow of blood and not a lot of pain. My Mum & Dad took me out to get pads and pantie liners. Well that's about it talk to you tomorrow.

(* Yes, yes, I know. I was way off on the "wear" and the sentence sounds like my new home was located elsewhere before it got moved to Ottawa.)


And that, my friends, was my day exactly 27 years ago. Today I expect my day to be a lot different except that, like that July 1st I said goodbye to all I had ever known, it's going to be a very sweaty hot one. And I'd just like to add that this was one of the most significant days of my life. I didn't realize it then and in fact wouldn't realize it until we moved back to Victoria 4 years later that this move away from all I'd known to the unknown gave me the foundation to become very adaptable and good with change. Most change, big change. Small changes can throw me such as putting the vegetable peeler in a new location every time you dry to dishes...I'm not on board with that kind of change. (It goes in the small flower pot that's ON the counter, OK???) But, big changes, I accept and embrace because life is about growing as a person and you don't grow, if you don't accept change.

Now, before I let you get back to your Canada Day Shenanigans, I am aware that some of you, who are in the know, may be hoping for a Canada Day Dress Photo (see the page I've set up specifically for these pictures) but last year, the 10th anniversary, was the finale. I'll still snap a picture of Sorcha for posterity, but the dress has most definitely been retired.

Enjoy your day, my friends,

And Happy "Cindy Became a Mature Young Woman Day" to you all.