Sunday, July 16, 2017

Sometimes, you really don't know what you got 'til its gone

Hello All!

Let's begin this post with a picture.

There. Now the stage is set. 

Tomorrow marks 7 weeks since my hysterectomy. A few days ago I had my post-op, hey how you doin', follow up. After my Dr. asked me how everything was and if I was feeling good, she said, 

"So, we did a biopsy (of my uterus)."

"Oh, ok." ( I guess it shouldn't have come as a surprise that they did this, but I hadn't really thought about it so it was)

"AND," pause, "You had massive amounts of fibroids!"

I followed this up with a blank stare and some shocked silence. Eventually I said, "What? Really?"

"Yes, that was a surprise!" said my Dr. with real honestly and strangely over the top enthusiasm.

"So, I had fibroids and andenomyosis?"

She glanced at my file, "No, just fibroids."

After few more seconds of trying to take my new diagnosis in, she said something along the lines of fibroids, the kind I'd had, presenting very similar to andenomyosis and that it can be very hard to diagnose. Well, clearly, or not clearly as turned out to be the case, it was a misdiagnosis. After all, she had been sure that I didn't have fibroids. During my appointment in November 2016, she had said that all the bits of things in the muscle of my uterus were most definitely andeomyosis, not fibroids.

So, I'd run with that. I took that condition on. I researched it, joined a group, wrote posts about it, got along with most of the symptoms of adenomyosis AND THEN, turns out I didn't have it at all.

I don't know why, but I felt like a fraud. It was like I'd run around telling everyone that I believed Batman was real guy, and had convinced other people that he was a real guy, only to find out that he wasn't a real guy and I should never have believed in Batman. (Don't worry...I don't really think Batman is a real guy. Or do I?) I was shaken by the misdiagnosis to the point where, by the time I got in the car, after she released me from ever having to see a gyno again (unless my ovaries go nuts), I was half crying, half laughing. 

When I got home I looked up fibroids, and the type of fibroids I had (Intramural fibroids if you're curious.), all the symptoms were spot on with adenomyosis. As well, the only for definite sure-ies way to get rid of them was a hysterectomy. So while I don't regret having the hysterectomy, I truly do wonder if I would have waited longer, or if I would have tried a different treatment approach before saying yes to a hysterectomy. I was left with a feeling of, not regret, but a touch of frustration that my decision to have surgery was based on a condition that I didn't even have. 

In the end, when it's all said and done, I'm feeling MUCH better than I did before my surgery. I probably would have made the same decision since my time of the month was taking up most of my month, my social life, my energy, my well being.

Besides, what can I really do about it? I've had the hysterectomy. My abnormally large uterus that commanded respect, like Batman, is but a legend. I guessing  I really would have just liked knowing the real state of things instead of finding out what I got until after it was gone.

Let's end with a short video.

Until next time,

1 comment:

  1. Wow, I can see how that would be very frustrating! I believe my mom had bad fibroids, hence her hysterectomy at 43 -- which she never regretted. I think since you feel better now, it was a good decision. Doctors definitely don't know as much as we think sometimes, that is for sure!